Monday, 2 March 2015

Motherhood : Expectation Vs. Reality

Honestly for me, going through motherhood the first time with Juhd was quite a struggle, especially the first month! Everything was hard the first time; learning to breastfeed, learning what to do when Juhd wouldn't stop crying, learning that I wouldn't be getting proper sleep for the next 1 or 2 years, and a whole bunch of other stuff! But as months passed everything definitely got easier and easier, Alhamdulillah. It was just a matter of getting used to a new life schedule.

After giving birth for the second time with Qomar, everything really did get easier(handling only Qomar that is) But handling TWO small human beings at once was a whole different story. Luckily I have Fiq by my side and he is wonderful with the kids. But when he's working and not around to help, things can be a little overwhelming.

Imagine having spent half an hour on breastfeeding Qomar, then another half and hour putting her to sleep only to be waken up by her big brother throwing toys to the wall or stomping on the table. -_-

And then there's the guilt of feeling like I'm not spending enough time with Juhd. It does get me all emotional because Juhd is still small and needs my attention. I really do miss spending more time with him and trying my best to make sure he doesn't feel left out because of the new addition to our little family.

Me being a mother means balancing between maintaining a clean house, getting all chores done, and keeping the kids happy and entertained while keeping my sanity

I am a blogger and part of my job requires me to promote clothes, events, services etc. Before I had kids, taking a simple OOTD photo was no biggie. I could take my own sweet time, take as many shots as I pleased(camera memory card constantly full with my pics) that used to really annoy Fiq bahahaha.

But after having kids, to take a decent OOTD photo requires a lot of strategizing. Because one moment Qomar is crying, then the next Juhd throws a tantrum or needs a diaper change. By the time they're both asleep(which is close to impossible during the day) then only I can finally get that OOTD shot(also if nothing was spilled on my tudung/baju). So yeahh everything really does require extra effort when you have kids.

Case in point:
I was promoting someone's makeup services. In the left photo which I posted you will see a picture of me calmly smiling and control-ayu-malu-malu-beruang. But In reality what I was doing is calming a crying Qomar.

See what I mean? Getting a good OOTD shot isn't that easy when you have your kid photobombing you all the time. So whoever says my outfit shots are still nice even after two kids, please know that there is a lot that goes behind it! LOL

If you're expecting, keep calm and don't freak out. Motherhood is totally awesome no matter how tired or how much you need to multi-task at one time. There is so much to look forward to when you have a child. I love being a mother more than anything in the whole wide world. And you know what they say..If you ain't tired, you ain't doin' it right!

P/s: I love my kids.

 Till then!

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Cherry Blossom

Wazaaaaaap..! So I was in Penang over the weekend visiting relatives and of course a little bit of Nasi Kandaq and jalan-jalan laaa. It's been a while since I last traveled (because let's face it, it ain't that easy travelling with two small kids y'all!) Plus I had my sisters and mom travelling with me so it does help when you have one(or two!) extra hands.

As per usual, I brought along with me some new stuff I just got from Fashion Valet. Let me start with my personal favorite, the dUCk scarf. Ok I totally get the hype now. Once you own a dUck, you're bound to get another. Period. This cherry blossom dUCk from the peachskin range is super light and super comfy yet not see-through. So you don't need to wear an inner. Score! Next time I might try and get one from the crepe shawl range. mihihihihihi.

Second item I got was this floral jumper. I own a lot of plain stuff so I thought it would be nice to wear some print for a change. Also, I've been wearing a lot of pink lately(what's up with that?) Hmm. So not me. Could it be my motherly instincts making me more girly.....?? oh well. *pasrah*

Till then!xx

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Baby #2 : The Labor Story

Oh my..It's been some time since my last blogpost! What can I say, mommy duties keepin' me very busy these days. Did you guys miss me..??!


I really wanted to share my second birthing experience with y'all and now I finally have the time! Wohoo! If you've never read my first birthing experience with Juhd, HERE it is.

My second experience giving birth was a lot different than my first because I had been scheduled for an induced labor. Just in case you're not familiar with induced labor, it is a process whereby some sort of pill will be inserted into your vagina and it starts/creates contractions in order to pretty much FORCE the baby to come out. (forgive my bad explanation oh medical people)

Honestly, I really wanted to wait for the baby to come naturally without being induced but doctors kept scaring me with horror stories of still births caused be overdue/prolonged labor. The first time with Juhd, I was also overdue and given 10 more days to wait for a natural birth. But that was only because at that time I didn't have GDM(gestational diabetes mellitus) or otherwise known as diabetes semasa mengandung. If you have GDM, doctors won't allow you to go beyond the 40weeks limit because risks of baby being too big and other complications that might be dangerous to the mom and baby.

Anyway, the day I was scheduled for induction, we went straight to Hospital Putrajaya as I had a (considered) good experience there with my first baby. But when we got there we were told that there was no room in the hospital for anymore patients and that I'd either have to come back tomorrow or try a different hospital. I couldn't really decide so we went to eat and stroll in the park instead!LOL.

As I was finishing my Nasi Goreng and Teh Ais(oh man sedap la pulak), I said to my husband 'Ok-lah, we go to hospital Serdang-lah'. And of we went to Hospital Serdang.

Upon arriving, I could see the hall was quite crowded and the atmosphere was a little intense. One women was crying and holding her tummy looking like she was ready to give birth. Another pissed-off-looking man kept asking the person at the front desk if he could go in and see his wife. The person at the front desk was talking to people in a very annoyed tone. It was not a good start to my night at all.

After checking in and waiting about 30mins, I was brought to a transition ward for monitoring of baby's heartbeat as well as a series of VE's. There were no signs of labor yet and my cervix was still closed. That went on for about 2 hours or so.

It was 12 midnight. I told my husband to go back home since it was already late and I wouldn't be induced yet, at least not until the day after. Just when I thought I was ready to be brought to the ward, I had to wait at another transition room with nothing but a few sofas because the wards were full. Basically I had to spend the night sleeping on a sofa. If you were a heavily pregnant lady, you would know how uncomfortable it feels to sleep in that position.

This is where me and a few other heavily pregnant moms had to sleep

Finally, after hours of waiting I finally got a bed in the maternity ward or whatever it is they call it. And that was basically approaching Subuh! At that point I was already tired because I couldn't sleep at all given the uncomfortable sofa to rest my head throughout the night. So I slept the whole morning once I got a bed.

At 2pm, I was induced. After 20 minutes or so, the contractions came slowly. The first 4 hours of contractions was quite a breeze. Not that it didn't hurt, but this time around I was more prepared and really practiced my breathing techniques, and that helped a lot in dealing with the pain. At that time I could still whatsapp my friends, scroll down instagram and do a bunch of other stuff while 'layaning' the contractions.

By 7pm, I couldn't eat anything because the contractions were getting stronger and really intense. My energy level also went down as I couldn't eat anything. I vomitted on my scarf. The nurses were not at all helpful as they just watched. When I asked for help to remove my scarf only then one of them came to my assistance. At that point my cervix had only dilated 2cm.

By 11pm I was already silently screaming in pain. Doctors checked my cervix and I was 5cm dilated. Only at 12-ish was I brought to the labor room but I was left alone in the room with no one but a bell to ring in case I needed to call the nurse/doctor. My husband had also been informed that I was about to give birth but being wrongly informed by the security officer, my husband was told that I wasn't there and he was not allowed into the labor room.

I rang the bell a few times and a nurse came with the worst attitude ever. I told her I was in so much pain and that I was ready to push but she kept scolding me saying that NO you're not ready to push yet without actually checking my cervix even once!

This went on repeat about 3 times(me ringing the bell and the nurse coming to scold me saying I was not ready)

The converstaion went a little like this:

*rings bell first time*
*a nurse enters*

Me: Sakiiiit..saya dah tak tahan..sakit sangat.. *mata asyik ke atas menahan sakit ya amat sambil meraung*

Nurse : Puan..! puan jangan macam ni! *angry tone* Puan belum nak bersalin lagi!

(dalam hati aku : ehhh aku yang nak beranak ke kau yang nak beranak)

Me; Sakit sangat dah..tak tahannnn...arghhhhhh...*meraung*

*nurse leaves room*

*rings bell second time*

Nurse: Puan..kenapa puan?*angry tone*

Me: Sakiiiit..dah tak tahan sangat2..saya nak teran..

Nurse: Puan..puan tahu kan bersalin ni sakit?! Puan jangan macam ni!

*leaves room*

*rings bell third time*

Me: Saya dah tak tahan sakit sangat...! *meraung kesakitan*

Nurse: Puan..puan jangan macam ni! Puan belum nak bersalin lagi, puan jangan macam ni!

*rings bell fourth time*

*a different nurse enters*

Nurse: Puan..puan kenape?..*firm but soft tone*

Me : Dah sakit sangat tak tahan..saya rasa nak meneran *following my instinct*

*nurse checks my cervix*

Nurse : Ok puan angkat kaki dan pegang, puan cuba teran.

So apparently my instincts were right. The moment I really wanted to push was the moment the baby's head was already coming out. The first push, baby almost came out but the push wasn't hard enough, so the baby went back in and I splashed water all over the nurse! It was indeed messy! The nurse didn't cut anything(no episiotomy) this time and with 2 very hard pushes, my baby came out under less than 3 minutes. Even the nurse said that was quick!

As soon as the baby came out, the nurse showed me that it was a HER and put her straight on my chest. I almost cried and after the nurse was done with all the other procedures, I said to her:

'Thank you doctor..' *with a warm smile* (At that point I thought both the nurses were doctors because they were wearing a different garment!LOL)

Then she replied:

'Saya bukan doctor, saya misi je' *smiled back at me and left*

So yeah.

That was my second experience giving birth. Quite horrifying to say the least. If you're planning on giving birth at a public hospital, please do consider other hospitals other than Hospital Serdang, especially if it's your first child. I understand that everyone's experience is different, but I've heard so many unpleasant stories about this hospital. I don't blame the staff for their poor service, I understand that their job is hard. And I respect all doctors and nurses for choosing to serve the people. I think the problem there is that the hospital's staff are overworked. That might be the cause of such poor treatment due to work stress. But seriously they should employ more staff so that nobody else will be the victim of over-stressed employees.

On a happier note, my baby is healthy and is already 2 and a half months!:) Meet my little princess, my mini me, Qomar bt. Mohd Shafiq. (Qomar means moon:))

Qomar at 3 days old:)

Share your birth experience with me in the comment section! Was it a good or bad experience??
Till then!

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Pinktober : Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Salam ladies! It's pinktober which is breast cancer awareness month. Ok serious question, how many of you have ever checked yourself for any signs of breast cancer? If you think you're too young to get breast cancer, think again.

As women, it is very important to take care of our body, but how do we do that if we don't even know what's going on inside of our body? That is why early detection is crucial and may just save your life/life of your loved ones.

So ladies, get educated about this disease and spread the awareness! Spreading awareness can help other women to check themselves for breast cancer through a few easy steps or tests.

1) What is breast cancer?

Breast cancer is a malignant tumor that starts in the cells of the breast. A malignant tumor is a group of cancer cells that can grow into (invade) surrounding tissues or spread (metastasize) to distant areas of the body. The disease occurs almost entirely in women, but men can get it, too.

2) What are the risk factors that causes breast cancer?

Risk factors that cannot be changed
• Being a woman
• Increasing age
• Early menarche (start of menstruation) before age 12
• Late menopause (stop of menstruation) after age 55
• Family history of breast cancer
• Personal history of breast cancer

Risk factors that are lifestyle related
• Having had no children or late pregnancies after age 35
• Oral contraceptive use
• Hormone replacement therapy
• Alcohol consumption
• Obesity and high-fat diets
• Physical inactivity

3) Detection methods and seeking appropriate treatment.

• Ensure that you do Breast Self Examinations (BSE)
every month.
• Encourage those over the age of 40 to go for a mammogram.
• Immediately have them see a specialist should there be any abnormalities
discovered during a BSE or mammogram.
• Obtain more information and seek out support from groups, friends and
the community.

4) Are there any preventive methods?

A nutritious, low-fat diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables can help reduce the risk of developing
breast cancer. A high-fat diet increases the risk because fat triggers estrogen production that can fuel
tumour growth.

5) What are the myths about breast cancer?

All breast lumps are cancerous
• 9 out of 10 of these lumps are not cancerous (benign).
• However, it’s best that you check with your doctor right away if you do
find a lump.
I am not at risk because no one in my family has breast cancer
• About 10% of all breast cancer cases have a hereditary factor
• Hence, that leaves 90% of cases without family history.


PRIDE FOUNDATION  (Pink Ribbon Deeds) is a charity body incorporated on 24 May 2006 under the Companies Act (1965) as a non-profit company limited by guarantee governed by a Board of Trustees. The incorporation is a tribute to the late Datin Paduka Seri Endon Mahmood’s courage, resilience and strength in her fight against breast cancer. 

For the “Breast Self Examination” method : 

More details on breast cancer and the Pride Foundation here : 

So ladies, remember to... 


Till then!

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Fuchsia Flare

Can you believe how fast time flies? I'm already 32 weeks today Alhamdulillah! Before you know it, my husband and I will be welcoming our second baby into the family, insyaAllah!! I'm happy and nervous at the same time. Thinking back on my first experience is giving me mixed feelings. But I believe in Allah's plan and put my trust in Him. InsyaAllah everything will be ok. According to the last scan, we're having a girl this time tehee^_^ but sometimes scans have proven to be wrong so you never know!

If it is a girl, I can't wait to dress her up in cute little tutu dresses and LBD's! haha. I think it's just natural to dream of dressing a mini you, right? Anyway, It's been quite some time since my last outfit post, no? When you're heavily pregnant, it really is hard to look decent or find something that doesn't make you look like a whale, if you know what I mean(no offence to whales). Most of the time I feel most comfortable in a maxi dress because it's easier to move and work in.

This maxi dress from Misclaire is one of my favorites because it has these cute ruffle sleeve details. Kinda makes me want to just twirl and do the salsa for no reason. I've said this many times, I'm not a fan of pink though(because I think it's just too girly for my personality) so as far as girly goes, fuchsia is my best bet. I just love this site because it's an online website that caters for plus size women. If you can't seem to find anything fancy in your size. Just head over to Misclaire and you'll find a variety of plus size clothing ranging from maxi dresses, skirts, jackets, pants and so much more!

Hope you have a lovely and productive week and remember to keep me in your duaas!:))

Facebook : plussize.misclaire

Instagram : @plussize_misclaire

Till then!xx